I'm having one of those days where I've spent all my time thinking of all the things I want to do and playing out the if, then's to the point of deciding everything seems too complicated and now it's noon and I haven't done anything at all.
Here's how this works for me...
I really want to make the new chicken enchilada recipe I found on online but if I do then I'll have to decide whether I clean my house first, which prolongs going to the store, or go to the store first and come home to a messy house that may or may not ever get picked up.
If I decide to go to the store, then I have to decide what to do with my kids. Do I take them? Do I leave them somewhere? If I decide to take them, then they have to be dressed nice, with combed hair. Ugh. If I leave them, I have to call around and beg, then spend the time taking them and picking them up. Ugh, again.
And what do I do about Carson on his third day of potty training? If I take him, then I have to put him in a diaper, which he doesn't want to do. If I leave him, then I have to beg whoever will watch him to deal with reminding him to go.
If I go to the grocery store, then I'll be faced with real shopping, not just picking up ingredients for enchiladas. If I do that, then I'll be spending money I don't really want to be spending, we've overspent this weeks budget already. I'll need hairspray, new 2T undies for the little guy, socks for Spencer on top of all the groceries needed to stock an empty fridge and pantry. But, if I stay home, then I'll just keep feeding us creatively and washing the 4 pairs of 2T undies I can find and the only 3 pairs of socks we can find of Spencer's.
If I stay home and do laundry, then I'll have to deal with all the clothes on my bedroom floor. If I am in my room taking care of laundry, then I'll have to call AHO and remind them again that my light fixture has fallen off the ceiling and is hanging by the wires only. I know, I know, I really should be taking care of that dangerous situation right now but if I do, then I have to clean my room first. And the rest of my house. And if I do that now, then I won't go to the store. If I don't go to the store then I won't know what to make for dinner today. If I don't know what to make, then I'll be hungry and crabby all day.
If I am crabby and hungry all day then I'll start thinking of all the things that make me crabby. Like an under-developed backyard and an unmowed front yard. If I start thinking about the front yard needing mowed, then I'll have to decide whether to buck up and go get gas for the lawn mower myself or wait for Jason to get home and send him on his lunch break. If I send him on his break then he won't have time to show me how to remove and empty the bag on the mower. If I don't catch the grass then I'll have clippings all over since it's so long. If I go outside and mow the yard then I'll have to decide whether I clean the inside first. If I decide to mow then I'll have to decide if I eat before I mow or after. If I try to find something to eat, then I'll be faced with the inevitability of going to the store.
And if I have to think about going to the store then there's 4,553 other decisions to make and I don't think I can make any of them.
If I get up and walk away from the computer, then I'll have to deal with the mess in my house, the undressed children, the empty refrigerator, the unmowed yard, blah, blah, blah.
If I just stop thinking about all of it, then I won't have to make any decisions at all.
If I end this post, then what picture am I going to add since I can't blog without a picture? If I go pick out a picture, then I'm going to feel guilty about how little I've used my camera lately.
And the decision after that? If I open a can of diet coke then what am I going to eat with it?
Ahhh, man. If I keep looking at these pictures, then I have to face the fact that Carson and Spencer need haircuts. If they need haircuts, then I have to leave the house. And it's pretty obvious that I can't make a decision today to save my life. But, if I put off everything today, then I have to deal with it all tomorrow.
