Does anyone else...

ever find themselves wishing for a diet coke, a house-keeper, and two tranquilizers on a sunny afternoon?

If you're doing the math and can't figure out why I would only want two tranquilizers, not three, it's because Spencer's as close to a house-keeper as I'm gonna get, and if I use just the right combination of threats and bribery, him and I can get a lot done in a day...

It's been a long time

I haven't been feeling the blogging bug lately but there's something about listening to your husband yell at his laptop that makes a girl want to come and caress the keys of her Mac...

When we were in Portland we bought a laptop. We initially had a hard time doing it because we've been so in love with our Mac, but couldn't afford, or justify paying for a MacBook and couldn't imagine ourselves going back to a Windows operated system. But we had a giftcard (thanks to my mom and dad!) and found a great clearance deal so we did it. Jason uses it for his on-line classes and bought a pen tablet to make his math class easier and he loves his laptop. And I love not being kicked off this computer when he gets home. He's also become quite smitten with it's voice recognition feature.

Which I really don't get.

I would much rather use my mouse than tell my computer what to do. Maybe it's because I spend all day telling my children what to do and therefore don't want to have one more thing to 'speak' to. Especially on days like today when the computer seems to be listening as well as the kids do.

For example:

Right this very minute, he has told the computer 6 times to "STOP LISTENING". Why not just grab the mouse and turn the stupid feature off!!! It's not like you can threaten it....

"You better listen the next time I tell you to STOP listening OR ELSE...."

That just doesn't really work. Or how about this... He seriously just asked his computer if it understands insults. And he just called it a name...Really? I wonder if its some kind of power trip. I just asked him why he doesn't just turn the feature off and use the mouse since it would be easier, right? I think he replied something like, "Well, it wouldn't be easier if the stupid thing worked!" But there was so much anger and frustration in his voice that my laughter blocked out what he was really saying.

I haven't had entertainment this good in awhile...I think next time I'll try to video tape him telling his computer over and over and over and over to "Start listening" followed by a mumbled, "Your stupid," followed by "Stop listening. Your done. I've had enough of your crap."


And maybe some time this week between birthdays, and church activities, colds and grocery shopping, laundry and napping, diaper rashes and phone calls, work and cleaning, fighting and eating, I'll sit down and post a few pictures of the FUN times that have been happening around this place...

For posterity's sake, of course...

Do You Know What's Stupid?

STUPID is not being able to fit three booster seats, side by side, in the back seat of a van.

STUPID is having your 4 year old break your rear view mirror off the window while your trying to shove one carseat and two boosters in the back seat of a van, because three boosters won't fit.

STUPID is having straps so short on your carseat carrier that your skinny 8 month old won't fit while wearing a sweatshirt, even though he hasn't outgrown the weight or height requirements so you have to wrestle him in twice, as the five kids you've just shoved into the five "safety seats" that barely fit into your 7 passenger van, are all screaming.

STUPID is standing in front of the bathroom mirror pulling out all your gray hairs cause your too lazy to go to the store to buy hair dye.

STUPID is fighting with your computer, printer, and/or web browser to print coupons only to get to the store and have the products be sold out.

STUPID is having a big black box covering half of your TV screen every time you turn on your digital converter box.

STUPID is not having DVR.

STUPID is having a four year old remind you that STUPID is a bad word.

Inadequacy

I've read quite a few blogs in the last week or two that have led me to believe that the Inadequacy Fairy is alive and well in the world of motherhood. And though I may not talk about it often, the I.F. is a frequent visitor of mine. She not only paid me a visit today, but I feel like she stamped me straight on the forehead with a bright red "Inadequate Mother" sign.

It was Sophie and Carson's Well Checks today. Carson passed with flying colors. The doctor was not only pleased, but amused as she watched him interact with his siblings. She saw him respond to his name, and loved it when he kept visually checking in with me every time he interacted with her. She pointed out that that was his way of feeling out the situation. As long as I seemed okay with it, so was he. It was nice to hear her pass him off as 'great' since I feel like he's living in a constant state of neglect. A few weeks ago I realized that he "talks" to the TV when Barney's on way more than he talks to me. I've been trying to make a conscious effort to actually play with him more and some days its easier than others. He's 8 months old now and weighs 17.5 lbs, 28 inches long. He has been crawling for awhile. Last week he started pulling himself up to furniture and has even tried to let go a time or two. He's a fantastic baby, always happy, and very easy.

Then we talked about Sophie. I love this little girl like nothing else. She is loving, bossy, funny, messy...'Sugar and Spice'. But as most of you know, she's a big girl and though she's been a big girl for awhile, her weight gain is not slowing down. She wasn't a big baby, she only weighed 7 lbs, 8 0z. It wasn't until she was aroung a year old that she started getting chubby. During all of her check-ups with her regular doctor and her kidney specialists, I always brought up her weight and they always told me she was just fine. Her last appointment was in November and at 19 months she was 38 lbs. That put her in the 90th% for her weight, but she was also in the 90% for her heighth. Once again, they assured me that she was okay. I've been worrying for the past couple months that it was going to catch up to her. And today it did. At 23 months she weighs 42 lbs., just 3 lbs lighter than Spencer. And though I love to squeeze her and laugh at her utter cuteness, the fact of the matter is that she's stayed in the 93% for her height but she is now off the charts for her weight. She's now classified as 'obese'.

And as a mom, that stings. A lot.

We talked about her eating habits. We talked about practicing stricter portion control. But the doctor was also very open to my opinion, which for now, is that I feel like I can take responsibility for a few of the extra pounds, but I don't feel like her weight is a true reflection of her eating habits. We're not a house with chips, and fruit snacks, and juice a plenty. Don't get me wrong, we've been known to eat brownies for breakfast but I also try to serve vegetables with every dinner. She's like most toddlers, she eats messy and spurratic (is that a real word?). It's hard to sometimes gage how much she's really eating when half of it is on her hands, her shirt, or the floor. Some times she won't touch her food, other times, we have to take her plate away from her, or hide the cookies, or watch her throw herself on the floor when we tell her she can't have 2 whole banana's. Yogurt is her most requested food, but she thinks that the word 'snack' means something sugary. So am I kidding myself? I'm in denial here? Where does the fault lie?

We took her to the lab to have some blood work done. It's not a fun thing to have to hand the technician a form that lists 'obesity' as the reason for the blood work. It will take a couple days for the results to come back. I feel like it really comes down to something either being wrong with her, or me. Neither one feels good.

I felt like some progress was made tonight at dinner as I carefully planned out our meal. I got her to eat second's of her carrots before I gave her a little more meat, she only ate half of a roll. We don't usually have 'dessert' but we unfortunately had a german chocolate cake in the house, which is pretty unusual. We agreed that she could have just a little piece for dessert since Spencer could stand to put some weight on and he was dying for a piece. Again, everything went smoothly. They had their pieces, no one cried for more, read some books, and then were sent off to bed. Or so I thought. Apparently, while Jason was getting Spencer's bed ready, and I was typing this, she quietly helped herself to a few fistfuls of the last piece of stupid cake.

We ended the night trying to explain to an almost 2 year old that cake will make her tummy hurt and I'm again left wondering, am I really just fooling myself? Is there really a bright red stamp across my forehead that reads "Inadequate Mother" because in the department of 'health and well-being of children' I'm getting a big, fat F?

Leprechaun Report

For the second year in a row, we've been skunked by our little, tiny, tricky friend.



We found concrete evidence that he had been here and escaped.





And though we did not trap him, he left us a little pot of gold.



It's been reported that Colton was also visited and out-witted by a leprechaun this morning. However, he seems to have been visited from a little man from a much wealthier lineage.
You see, even leprechauns come from varying social and economic situations.
Upon waking up in their two story house, they found that their little visitor had moved the tunnel and left a trail, not of his escape, but to a larger pot of gold and treasures behind their curtains. There were green necklaces, golden coins, mint gum, and a variety of other delicacies.

Spencer was "green" with envy.

Some day he'll understand that the same leprechauns that visit trailers are not the same that visit real houses.

And though our pot of gold was little and only filled with chocolate, our Leprechaun seemed to have some spunk and street smarts. And while Spencer was left wondering why he didn't receive any green candy necklaces, Colton was wondering why his Leprechaun wasn't cool enough to bust through his trap, leaving a hole.



And the moms and dads are left wondering, "What will we have to do next year?"

Ready to Set

They painted, glued, laughed and played all afternoon.

Their new thing to say is, "I could just cry about it," anytime they were excited about something. Like "these cookies are sooo good I could cry about it," (direct quote from Colton). Weird, huh?

They planned and plotted about catching one of these little guys tomorrow in their traps.



And were very excited when their traps and tunnels were dry and ready to go...





They're not the only ones hoping to find a pot of gold in a camouflaged Schwann's box tomorrow morning but, unlike me, they'll be perfectly happy with gold covered candies.

I love surprises...

Okay, I only love surprises when I don't know anything about them. I can't handle it otherwise.
I beg and plead to the point of annoyance to get even the smallest of hints out of someone.

And I don't keep surprises very well either. I don't think there's been a holiday yet that I haven't 'hinted' to the point of straight out telling Jason what I got him.

So I really only love surprise surprises. And now, I have to point out what an extremely weird word surprises is once you've typed it 6 times.

But the point, is that I love surprises like this:



Where's the surprise?
It's the fact that I didn't take this picture. Or this one:



Or this one, etc:









I wasn't even home during the freakish hail storm we had last week (I think it was last week).
And even if I had been home, these pictures wouldn't have been taken. Because I was only a fun mom two-kids-ago. I'll do the math for you- when I only had 1 kid. Back in the days of my one-kidness, I did all sorts of fun things. Because I wanted too. I had the energy too. And I felt like I had the time too. Had I been home, I would have been too tired to get them ready to go out. Or too tired to find the umbrella. Or too busy.

I'm so insanely thankful for my fantastic cousins/babysitters who do have the energy, desire, and time to do fun things with my kids. And for grabbing the camera while they do it.

Photographs and good time playing in the hail/snow/rain courtesy of Kimmie