Blogging for Therapy

Instead of yelling, again, or crying, or throwing my own tantrum, again, I'm going to see if blogging can help me through.  Today has been one-of-those-days.  The kind where you find yourself wishing you drank, or swore, or locked your children outside, or had a way to beam yourself out of your own home.

I don't even want to go into the details of all that was wrong.  Anyone who has a 4 ft. or shorter human being co-existing in their house will know that it's not worth itemizing.  It's not only painful, but it may even start to sound funny, or less stressful than it feels, and sometimes I enjoy this pity pool I'm sitting in too much to ruin it.

Okay, I changed my mind.

Here's just a few of the things that have caused constant weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth for the last three hours (in no particular order):

Being grounded made Spencer cry.
Having a diaper rash made Carson cry.
Not being able to find "Arr, Arr" (pronounced like a seal barking), her stuffed seal at bedtime made Sophie cry.
Getting applesauce on his pancakes made Carson cry.
Getting yelled at made Spencer cry.
Being pulled off the counter that he climbed up on made Carson cry.
Not being able to watch a show made Sophie cry.
Being told to get back in the house made all three cry.
Getting applesauce on his fork made Carson cry.
Not being fed 10 minutes after dinner was over made Sophie cry.
Not being able to brush his teeth made Carson cry.
Being told his punishment was being extended til tomorrow made Spencer cry.
Taking the fake, decor only carrots away from Carson made Carson cry.
Me answering the telephone and ignoring their yells while on it caused at least one of them, usually two of them, to start crying.
Giving Sophie a hug made Sophie cry.

Explanation for above mentioned incident:
I put all three of them to bed at 7:58, which caused more crying, of course.  Ten minutes after she had been in bed, Sophie came out wanting her seal.  After playing instead of looking for him, I told her she had to go back to bed.  Cue more crying.  After 20 minutes of her crying my name from her bedroom, I decided to go in there and offer her a hug.  I asked her if she wanted a hug and to be tucked back in and she sniffled and nodded.  I sat on her bed, hugged her and she started crying.  I told her no crying during a hug.  Then she started talking, I said no talking during hugs.  As I tucked her in she pleaded with me for one question.  I nodded and she said, "But mom, why are you so mean?"  I shushed her, brushed the hair off her forehead and left.  For the next 10 minutes she yelled/cried from her room, "BUT WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?"  I called Jason and he could hear her (she was now standing in the hallway).  He told me to put her on the phone, he reprimanded her, and she of course started crying again.  As I'm typing this, she's yelling from her room that she needs someone to tuck her in and that her head hurts.  Now she's just yelling my name.  Afraid I'm not going to make the same 'mean' mistake I made earlier.  She can cry herself to sleep tonight, after all, I'm just a mean mom.